i have got a story to tell. so when i was in secondary 1, i was already in the volleyball team.i had to exercise regularly and i was thin. i had an excessive output to my body. then my parents noticed and they made a deal with me. when they touched me, they could only feel bones. they scolded me and chided me. i was pretty sad and that year was a depressing year with everyone going against me. the deal was if i wanted my parents to love me again, i need to gain as much weight as my brother. i was determined to do it badly because i really wanted my parents to love me back. how dumb can i be? so i ate so much for days. i ate fast and really that much. nobody saw the change in me.i cried every night and night just to receive love from my parents. i gained that much weight after weeks/months. then one day, my parents went over to me and scolded me because of my weight. i was surprised obviously. then i told them exactly what they asked me to do. however the thing is, they dont remember a shit. i was really sad. i mean like they kept telling me to gain as much fats as my brother and now they are scolding me because i am fat? what about the deal that we made? and do you know something? my friend, to be exact, guy friends made fun of me because i looked skinny. now that i have gained weight, they call me fat. why cant i be perfect? why must everyone insult me. dont they know it hurts me that much when they do that. so yeah, i really know how does it feel when someone is called skinny by others because i have been in that situation also. so please dont judge me that easily when you dont know what i have gone through all this while. i may be blunt because i may not listen to you for a while but please i am not that dumb ok. so bij fuck u guys
x here bij-es a selfie of me :-))))) ugly right k wtvr
hi bloggers it has been quite a while since we have met. :-)))) life is obvsly normal which mean life sucks. o level is this year & problems aftr problems are after me rn. im so depressed. actlly, would anyone even believe im suffering from some kind of anxiety? i doubt so. due to my past events which occurred, i dont think i am able to catch up in life anymore. i have a secret to tell but nO uGh. im gg to tell it next time when i am fully, physically ready enuf 2 share my secret. something terrible happened 2 my friend & eventho i was in that state b4, i rlly do not knw how to help her even after 6 years has aldy passed, the memory abt it still lingers in my mind which i couldn't resist at alL. nobody believed me when i told them abt prblms i have faced all this while. why? the reason is bcs my face doesnt look like it hs problems :-'((( logically, why shld i even fake abt some srs shiets? maybe when compared to u, i think im much stronger than u bcs im able to solve my prblms alone.... nO acTlly i these prblms were never solved... they just got more complicated as time goes by.... tbh, i just wished that people are just aware of me & help/solve me with my prblms.. i do need attention thats all. -this girl

hey romeo, this is for u. ok so i m not that type of girl that receive chocolates from guys or wtvr. no guy has ever done that for me except one. he gave me a box of ferero roche ((idk hw 2 spell that)) u know i dont expect that much from u but just love me 1o1. y isn't any guy luving me omg && b able to accept d way i fucking am?? my friends r so lucky to receive tons/boxes((exaggerating)) of chocolates from guys/bffs. how lucky,damn fts. haish actlly, i m rlly bad when comes to bgr things. i tend to push guys away & distance away myself from them. n..n idekyomglol. so the thang is, if any guy is gg to be my boyfriend then goodluck 2 u bcs u wont get along with me. i tried getting along with with all my guy friends and then.... it failed badly till had to give myself points of 0/100. kk goodnight fuckers xoxo

just imagine someone asking you to practically 'fuck off' wouldn't it hurt you? rahman just asked me to "fuck off" on twitter. dafuq? i was trying to be nice & dur i know he was really mad at his dad. srsly, u do not need to order me like that. nobody likes me. im so hurt && moody rn omg. that escalated quickly. tbh, i hv this emotional disorder or smthg near that lol. && i am so going to hate every1!!!11!!!. society is to be blamed 4 everhtng!!!!!!11!! :-(((((. society is so fucked up. i don't get it.. why.. ugh nvm. ''i was just trying my best to be at my best god /at least liked by someone but no.'' “If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything.” ― Malcolm X. xthis true somehow. lol joke
I CAN'T APPRECIATE WHAT I HAVE CAUSE I HAVE NEVER ACCEPT THE WAY I LOOK/WHAT I AM. EVERYONE THINKS ITS RLLY EASY TO DO IT BUT HAVE THEY EVER BEEN IN MY FUCKING SHOES????111??!? :-(((((( AND THEY ARE STILL INSECURE ABT THEMSELVES DESPITE THOSE GOOD VIBES ON THEM! y r they like that? bcCAUSE THEY WANT ATTENTION FROM NAIVE PEOPLE/human beings 2 TELL THEM THAT THEY GORGEOUS/PRETTY && etc.. bcCAUSE THERE ARE FUCKING ATTENTION SEEKERS I RLLY DONT WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE omg I HATE EVERYONE. AND I PROMISE I AM GOING TO DEVELOP FROM A POTATO TO SOME FUCKING FRIES FRIES.
I AM UGLY AND I KNOW IT. I AM BLACK AND ALL. FUCK MY LIFE AND I WANT TO DIE.