it says it all

hi. i want someone to ask me if i'm fine, sincerely. haish. and when i'm sad, say 'cheer up' for me and please hug me. i want that. but i've never received that. i want this if i was sad, i want it to be everyone like so worried about me then everyone comes to me and cheer me up. i really want this. but it really never happened. why? idk why hehe fuck it. lol i know why. cause i am ugly and black duh. fuck lah. i hate sia when someone comes and sit beside my friends and just layan my friend and not me. i feel so insecure and invisible. i'll feel like crying hahaaha. dah normal ah ni semua but still not used to it. 

i want to be set free no judging and no commenting just me

hi ☹☹ its not a good day for me. its fucked up. everyone is mad at me for idk what reasons. i am like trying to distract myself by trying to smile and laugh. i have so much problems right now right here. ☹ i am so ugly. and so black really please i want to die. n hates me and she is like so angry with me and idk why. please don't get angry with me i need to know the reasons. u hate it when guys treat someone better than me. i want attention too. i've been craving attention from everyone else. i am like making every guy so interested in me but everyone is like liking someone who is not fighting for them ☹. am i that ugly? asal allah tak kasih aku putih & cantik? aku jahat sangat ke? my friends are like one million better than me and i can never like win them in something. they are like really perfect angels. they are pretty, smart, caring, fresh, not annoying & irritating, funny & beautiful. but me? hahahaha. big joke. i am so ugly, black, annoying, arrogant. and i have this cb ugly laugh ever. when i laugh, i'll open my mouth really big and laugh without any sound. y'know how insecure i get when someone teases me? tell me how to not be insecure when someone teases me? every single day, someone judges me and reminds me that i am ugly and black. i feel so hurt. i can't even speak properly. i speak really really fast and people would be like, 'huh'. and with their lanjiau blur face. i feel so insecure. i have so extremely many flaws. i just hope my parents are going to be okay to lessen this burden of one of my problems. haish. i feel like killing myself or terjun. but kalau dah niat
dah dosa ☹☹. hidup aku seriously fucked up